“Adam’s Song” is a journey into deep darkness toward the completion of suicide in a teen boy, but it’s also a journey back out of darkness toward continued life.

Mark Hoppus has said that “Adam’s Song” is meant to be a song of hope. He wrote it when it was feeling down while on tour. His bandmates had girlfriends and large friend circles to whom they returned after a long tour. Hoppus said, however, that he just wound up going home and being just as alone as he felt on the tour. The song came about as he dealt with the feelings he had at the time, which included completing suicide.

The protagonist in the song laments his life, seeing and magnifying his faults along the way. Something innocuous like spilling apple juice became a monumental tragedy that was all his fault, so he truly thought about ending it all. By the last verse of the song, the depressing lyric of “Days when I still felt alive” has become “Days when I can still feel alive,” switching toward a feeling of hope and joy for the future. The instrumentation of the song changes before the last verse. The chords are the same, but the different instrumentation and tone of Hoppus’s voice is subtly changed, indicating the switch in mood from dark to bright.

The Controversy

A 17-year-old Columbine High School Senior hanged himself while listening to “Adam’s Song” on repeat, and the boy’s parents blamed Blink-182. This controversy was similar to the one in the mid-1980s when another young man killed himself while listening to Ozzy Osbourne’s “Suicide Solution.” Unlike Osbourne’s song, which doesn’t have the hopeful upswing in tone, “Adam’s Song” is supposed to be about the triumph of the desire to live over the darkness.

Suicide Prevention Week

All the members of Blink-182 are passionate about suicide prevention. Hoppus has been quoted as saying, “Light is the best cleanser,” which is a reference to destigmatizing mental health and talking about it openly and honestly. The band encourages folks to seek out someone, anyone, with whom they can talk about their suicidal feelings. It doesn’t have to be a psychiatrist, a priest, or teacher. It can just be a good friend. The key to preventing suicide is listening to folks with suicidal ideation. Those to whom suicidal folks turn must take their feelings and their ideation seriously. “Oh, he’ll never do it,” is not a good strategy. Rather, encouraging the person to get help and then helping to facilitate that is much better.

Lyrics

I never thought I’d die alone
I laughed the loudest, who’d have known?
I trace the cord back to the wall
No wonder it was never plugged in at all
I took my time, I hurried up
The choice was mine, I didn’t think enough
I’m too depressed to go on
You’ll be sorry when I’m gone

I never conquered, rarely came
Sixteen just held such better days
Days when I still felt alive
We couldn’t wait to get outside
The world was wide, too late to try
The tour was over, we’d survived
I couldn’t wait ’til I got home
To pass the time in my room alone

I never thought I’d die alone
Another six months I’ll be unknown
Give all my things to all my friends
You’ll never step foot in my room again
You’ll close it off, board it up
Remember the time that I spilled the cup
Of apple juice in the hall
Please tell mom this is not her fault

I never conquered, rarely came
Sixteen just held such better days
Days when I still felt alive
We couldn’t wait to get outside
The world was wide, too late to try
The tour was over, we’d survived
I couldn’t wait till I got home
To pass the time in my room alone

I never conquered, rarely came
Tomorrow holds such better days
Days when I can still feel alive
When I can’t wait to get outside
The world is wide, the time goes by
The tour is over, I’ve survived
I can’t wait ’til I get home
To pass the time in my room alone

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Mark Hoppus / Tom DeLonge

Adam’s Song lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Songtrust Ave, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

Listeners of music from the 1990’s, might also appreciate the song The Next Episode by Dr. Dre